"We have an opportunity": One mom's hope for a safer Kansas for trans youth

My husband and I are the parents of a remarkable transgender woman. She is brilliant, beautiful, and funny. She’s a good friend and sister, and she cares deeply about her community. Transitioning hasn’t been easy, and she has worked hard to become the person she is today. Her journey would have been much harder, however, without the support of people who love her and the professionals who provide her health care.
During the 2024 session, many in the Kansas legislature again spent time and our state’s money to pass new anti-trans legislation. The most dangerous bill, Senate Bill 233, would have denied gender-affirming health care to minors and penalized health care practitioners. Thankfully, the bill did not become law (although it was very close), and Kansas youth can access the care they need for at least another year.

The Kansas bill was not unique. Legislatures across the county are passing similar bans on health care for trans youth. The proponents want you think they were benevolent and caring, saving multitudes of potentially, but probably not really, transgender children from unethical quacks using dangerous procedures.

That is not true. Gender-affirming care saves lives. Research has proven it time and again, which is why EVERY major medical association, including the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, supports gender-affirming care for transgender youth and opposes health care bans.

"[W]e have an opportunity to learn from one another and value the transgender people in our communities." -Kim Bellemere

When our daughter told us she was transgender, my husband and I were at first shocked, then scared. We didn’t know where to go for help or how to support her. We worried about her safety, we didn’t know what her future would be like, and we were so scared the world wouldn’t treat her fairly.

Despite our fears, it was clear she knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. It became our job to trust and support her. Luckily, we had friends who directed us to the clinics and therapists she needed. Those experts helped us come up with a plan and in doing so, they eased some of our fears.

I refuse to think what could have happened if our daughter didn’t have access to the care she needed as a teen. I can’t imagine the pain and fear she would have had, wondering how to live her life in a body that didn’t feel like hers. I can’t do it and my heart breaks for the parents who will have to face the things I won’t have to, with the passage of similar legislation.

I don’t know why we’re seeing anti-trans bills pushed through legislatures across the country. Government officials inserting themselves into private medical decisions only causes fear and confusion. It also raises doubt about the legitimacy of transgender health care, and even the very existence of transgender people. Or maybe that is the point?

The Kansas bill didn’t become law thanks to the thousands of people who fought against it and the wise legislators who understood the pain it would cause. Now, instead of giving in to fear and misunderstanding, we have an opportunity to learn from one another and value the transgender people in our communities. Over the next year let’s work to build a Kansas where all youth are welcome and can become the people they are meant to be.

-Kim Bellemere